I just washed a load of pants. I found $16 in the basket after the cycle was done. I'd do my laundry a lot more often if this happened every time.

So, last Sunday, I saw this RV trundling down the Southwest Freeway just outside Downtown, covered in Bible verses, with a message that the end of the world was coming, on May the twentysomethingeth, 2011, and that we should "Read the Scriptures".

Issue 1: Ok, I did go read some Scriptures. Why don't you try this one on for size? Mark 13:32-33, in the middle of a relatively lengthy lecture on the second coming of the Messiah and the end of the world: "³²No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. ³³Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come." If any supposedly Christian person gives you a date, even a year, on which the world will end, or the Second Coming will occur, please do us all a favor and ask them what they think of these two verses of Scripture.

Issue 2: Could you go be crazy more privately, so that the rest of us Christians aren't associated with your poorly-informed lunacy?

Issue 3: How come people who predict the end of the world, "Christian" or otherwise, always predict that it will be within the next ten years, usually the next five? And even then, the number is usually as round or artificially significant as possible. How come you never see some prognosticator saying, "Well, according to my analysis, the end of the world will happen on February 17, 3486?"